When Choosing The Wrong Person

It doesn’t matter if he or she are the sun, moon and stars which make your personal world revolve. You will never be good enough for the wrong person. Even in your absolute best you’ll still not be good enough. However, at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person. Love is key and it must be the driving force in your relationship.

When Choosing The Wrong Person

Key factors which reveal the real you and your partner. 

Alcohol:

Add this to your checklist. Some call it, “Spilling the beans”. Alcohol is a truth serum. You should want to see the person of your interest in their best/worst behavior while under the influence. This allows you to quietly observe your significant other or your poor choice of character as they sip away and making a fool l out of themselves. Free drinks tell the entire story.  Knowing your limit, is priceless. It displays what’s to come and what your future will entail. It’s also can be viewed as a tell all sign of what may and may not come into fruition. 

Alcohol has a way of revealing a person’s true nature. Some of the things that will spill out of their mouths can save you a lifetime of misery. For the most part, whenever a person abuse any type of a drug there’s an existing form of depression secretly concealed and often revealing themselves. When their defenses are down sit back and view them with a helicopter point of view of the subject and watch the fireworks begin. Stand back to avoid the repeated splash. Also, have plenty of water and breath mints because the party has just begun. Also, when the mints don’t work, try a bottle of Listerine.  Just tell them not to spit it out too fast. Instead, tell them to let it sit in their mouth for a good two minutes, if not three. if they swallow it that’s even better. Keep in mind, this method works both ways. If you have anything to hide you may want to re-frame from drinking. 

  • Drinking on an empty stomach is not a great chess move. 

  • Drinking and depression doesn’t mix. It only escalate the problem.  

  • Drinking and driving comes with a price tag or a toe tag. 

When Choosing The Wrong Person

Anger: 

Run, as if your life depends on it. Anger equals danger. Don’t waste anytime, the sooner the better, especially if you don’t have time to waste. You don’t want to wait and discover 5 years later that your hubby has unresolved issues. You should want to know how a person manages and deals with a crisis well before you get deeply involved. You should want to know if they are built for the next 20/40 years. 

Are they fair, diplomatic and reasonable in their decision making? Or, are they compulsive, cunning, deceitful and conniving? Are they playing with a loaded deck of cards? Are you the type of person who’s quick to jump into relationships before respectfully examining your damaged fruit? You can’t afford to misinterpret what’s glaring directly in your face. All the signs, signals and symbols are present. At all cost you must see whom is truly standing before you. Sometimes you have to push the right buttons to reveal your knight in shining armor or uncover what could be your frog of a worst nightmare, ever.  

  • A “Knight in Shinning Armor” is a metaphor. It’s a fantasy/fairy tale like Sleeping Beauty, Snow White & Peter Pan. They don’t exist. You should want a person who’s passionate, loving, kind, brave, thoughtful and considerate.  

  • If you like pain, torture, or simply getting your head bashed in by all means let me step to the side. Call it love if you want. You may want to stop reading this and seek professional help instead. 

When Choosing The Wrong Person

Money:

Micro managing? Is there someone recounting the money you’ve already counted? Are you feeling cheap or short changed? Does mommy dress you after she dresses herself? Do you choose your own socks, even? I’m just saying because, um. Well, never mind. You don’t have to answer the last question.   

Do you have a person in your life that use money to mask their shortcomings? Are they an obnoxious butt-hole whose full of themselves? Are they flashy, loud and boisterous? Do they spend needlessly?  Are they king of the campus? Do you like the attention? Do they drive fancy two door cars, two door trucks or live in a huge house that compensates something else? Do they spend wisely or are they careless with their money? Money has a way of exposing the worst and revealing the best of a person. What is their attitude like when they have money and what are they like when they don’t have any money?  

  • Always have your own money. Never rely on anyone to do for you which you should be doing for yourself. 

  • Two door vehicles screams, “I don’t have room for any kids that aren’t mine”.

  • Your car note is your car note. Your lease is in your name. Nobody should be responsible for anything that is in your name, but you because that’s your responsibility. 

When Choosing The Wrong Person

Denial:

Some people like to see other people squirm. Other’s may find it amusing to play mind games. Any form of abuse is not love, it’s actually the opposite. There’s no need to shake your head in denial. We should ask ourselves a few questions.

Are they a good listener? Are they grateful and appreciative or are they selfish, pigheaded and a natural pain in your backside? Do they actually hear and grasp all you’re saying to them? All the telling signs are right in our face but we tend to look the other way.  Sometimes we hold on to things and people whom aren’t holding on to us. Living in a fantasy world, fronting as if, when they’re not. Many of us are dreamers who are full of wishful thinking. Some of us force circles in square holes. Denial is not a river in Egypt. Failing to smell the awesome aroma of coffee even when it’s right under your nose can be nauseating, to say the least. 

When Choosing The Wrong Person

Your Lowest Point: 

How a person treats you while you’re at your lowest point in life is paramount. 

During the rough, suck and tough times never hang your head low for any long stint of time. We must get back on top of the bull and keep a united front. There’s no need to wear our hearts on our sleeve. You know who you are. You know exactly what you bring to the table. You shouldn’t have to prove yourself to any of your doubters. How your trusted loved one treats you during the hard times or when your down is not only important but it’s very telling. You should key into this factor. There’s no excuse for being demeaning, or mentally placing one’s foot on the back of your neck while you’re down and in need of support. 

  • Tough times don’t last, tough people do.

  • Pick yourself up from off the ground and dust yourself off.

  • There may not be an “I” in “team” but there’s two in “winning”.

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When Choosing The Wrong Person

 

Harlem, 

 

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…

 

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