G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

(Music)Not Gon’ Cry” can be heard playing in the background. A soft spoken gentlemen taps the mic, then clears his throat…

“Can I talk to you family? Can I share a little pain with you tonight? I’m not seeking sympathy, just understanding with a touch of clarity. I would like to share and reflect with you and get a little something from off my chest that’s been on my mind for quite some time. We all go through our own trials and tribulations in life. If there’s anyone out there silently suffering and feeling down, just so you know. You’re not alone.”

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

“These are challenges forced upon us to endure and for us to overcome. The experience alone test our strength and fortitude. Courage doesn’t exit without experiencing the extraordinary combined with the excruciating pain of adversity. I pray, someone is out there can relate. Take this ride with me. By now, you already know where this is going.”

Beware of the blurry lines before the end of the road.

The hidden and the unseen telling signs only appear to be unseen. However, if we carefully review those particular situations we’ll soon discover those warning signs were actually begging for attention. Sometimes we see what we want to see and ignore the obvious factors. The uncontrollable eye watering factor leads to a blinding symbolic reality. The pulsating warning signals were there.

From a master spreadsheet to a child tax credit relief, its hard out here in these mean city streets. G-Money had that 9 volt pleaser. That snap, crackle & pop kind of a flavor. Tongue twisting taste teaser of a buffet. If you know what I mean…

G-Money: A Financial Consultant and a Housing Property Manager of frailing relationships. She’s the first in her family to obtain a Master’s degree in Manipulation. I mean, in Finance. Trust me when I tell you. I’m extremely proud of her accomplishments.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

Education comes from out the mist of struggle. When you’re educated during a struggle you’re educated with a new reality. 

Talking about how I got my head cracked… Well, all the signs were clearly smeared in blood across the bedroom walls of our “Edison Township” townhouse. All three bedrooms bared her mark. Especially in the kitchen because she didn’t cook. I mean, she couldn’t be bothered. Yeah, that’s it. The marriage was over as soon as G-Money hyphenated her name. There was this suffocating stench of feminism that sift itself through a tiny hole within my protective armor. She went from saying, I do to I don’t in less than 30 seconds and I’m not talking about her not doing the laundry. Besides, I already know how to wash clothes. It was her masculine vibe I didn’t care for.

Please don’t misunderstand my point of view. I love my ex. She was my better half. Meaning, she’s everything I’m not. G-Money graduated college. I only graduated high school. She was raised in a Township setting whereas, I was raised in the a hood/ghetto. She knows nothing about working hard. I know all about falling asleep while standing up. G-Money was raised by both of her parents. I never knew my father. A balanced life verses a life full of challenges.

I just didn’t like her and her ways. I don’t care for anyone who moves in such of a manner. I hope that makes sense to you. I will never be available for anyone to use me only to later be discard as if I were trash. Take a quick look at the process. Drain him, bag him then toe tag them. No Ma’am. No Mas!

Needless to say, I don’t have to tell you it went from zero to one hundred real quick. Did I fail to mention her terms of engagement regarding the threshold?

No sex on Sundays? Let’s start with that. Basically, nothing is jumping off on Mondays and for the most of the week. Saturdays, G-Money said, “It’s girls night out” but if I recall it she doesn’t have any girlfriends to hang out with. G-Money has (1) girlfriend and she’s currently using the man she’s with. I mean not even her sisters visited her. I mean they only came over to poke the bear and to see if I was still around. This means I should receive Saturdays with the possibility of having every other Friday open for some more, foreplay. Maybe if I’m lucky it can all go down sometime today. That’s called, surprise sex. I have to sit down for a minute. My head is a little light because I haven’t eaten all day. That’s when she could offered me a Whimpie Burger, instead. I swear, there’s no olives here in my oil. I wanted ketchup with extra fried onions on it. Sounds like she was offering to serve more bullsh$t to me. Which will only lead to more of nothing.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

Trust me, it gets better… 

The reality of it all left my head on a swivel, looking around with both hands holding on to my sh$t, as if the wind was blowing too much cold air in mid August. Talking about irreconcilable differences. My heart dropped from out of my mouth and onto the floor. I tried to fixed my face and pickup the broken pieces from off the floor before she had gotten the chance to step on it.

Unfortunately, I was a tad too slow due to the initial shock and she beat me to it. I never recovered. I should not have shared “48 Laws Of Power” with her. At the time when I made that purchase my mindset was we would both conquer the world together. I was sadly mistaken.

Footnote to self… Always do your research. When people show you who they truly are believe them. Don’t ignore those blinding factors.

Oh! Wait, did I share with you that her father is a pastor? He also married twice. A father of (3) daughters & (1) son. I’m leaving so much out and almost decided to delete this entire paragraph. A beautiful man who deserves nothing but the best from others but didn’t receive the love he truly deserved from is own siblings and neither of his wives. All of the women in his life just take from him and use him for their selfish gain; using their own children to master manipulate him even more. I love him and it hurt me to watch it all unfold. (I told G-Money that will never be me). Dad is a better man than I will ever be. He raised his daughters the best way he knew how; by raising them like boys and they always had their hand out. I mean he couldn’t catch a break. All of his girls used him like a credit card swiping machine. He and his wife who would eventually leave him at the worst time in his life slept in separate bedrooms. Yep, that part. That was all the signs, symbols and signals I needed to witness. The writings were on the walls and all over the doors and ceiling. I don’t think he even finished high school. The dynamics of the that family I married into was mind blowing to say the least. Think about if they can use their own flesh and blood what do you think G-Money would have in stored for me? By now you may be able to see why I used the “$” to replace the “S”.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

“Dealer, just shuffle the cards. No comments necessary.”

I’m holding one book with the illusion of having three. In the scheme of things I really got nothing. It feels like this guessing game is a losing hand in Spades. However, if I keep my mouth closed and eat all of my spinach she just might act right and “boonk up” next to me for the night.

Then again, if I play my cards right and keep it 100 with you, this is simply no life for a “G”, you see. So I shifted gears and shut it down. I’ve quickly discovered sleeping in the living room was a sure sign & signal, the door to the street will soon be next.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

Women control the access to sex. Men control the access to relationships. You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them. You also can miss a person everyday and still be glad they’re no longer in your life.

I was done after I came up missing $3,000. I guess she was trying to cash out at my expense. So, I stuck out my chest and demanded a divorce. Boy I tell you, this woman is good. She didn’t even blink. I got it without any hesitation nor resistance. There wasn’t any lets try to work it out. Nothing… Right about now I’m feeling some type of a way. It was then when it became crystal clear she had other options all lined up along with hidden agenda’s. She didn’t even give back my ring to her nor did she return to me my Grandmothers wedding ring. When you’re done you sever the cord and you want no connection, no token or a reminder of that other person. Holding onto the rings in this case is outright cruel. I mean, she’s setting up shop, running around collecting and wearing wedding rings. Another way of viewing it we can collectively call them, spoils of war.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

Symbols: The wedding ring is a symbolic gesture which represents eternity. It also represents eternal love and commitment within a relationship. The circle of the ring represents a universal symbol of infinity. It’s an ornament/token of a particular gesture. When that seal (Which is nothing more than a business contract) has been broken, such as in a divorce the ring should be returned to the sender. It no-longer belong to the receiver.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

So I took my satin sheets and baby oil, (Don’t judge me) and I ran 1,000 miles away with my tail between my legs like a wounded puppy whom was just hit by a moving car. I ran to hide and to recover from the pain and suffering along with all the thoughts of not having sex in between.

Talking about irreconcilable differences. My heart dropped onto the floor. I tried to fixed my face and piece shyt together but I couldn’t find my nose. So I just pickup the remaining pieces I couldn’t find from off the floor before she had gotten the chance to step on them. I tried as promised. I wasn’t gon’ cry. Well, at least not on that day. Okay the very next day I cried like a little bitch but nobody was around to see it and laugh.

This is now 11 years later and I’ve acquired a serious peace of mind in a new state. I fly out to Maryland to see my son and my mother. I find out G-Money remarries through my mother and from my brother’s wife. It was mainly about how I found out she had remarried, two years ago.

I was shocked, actually numb for a New York minute. I won’t lie. I was kinda foggy and it caught me off guard. Yeah, that’s right. A little suspended animation for a day or two weeks. I called to asked my son why he didn’t tell me his mother remarried? This little ninja who’s 20 years old mind you, said, “Man I don’t be getting involved in other peoples marriages.” I felt another DMX moment coming around the corner. I was like, “Ninja WHAAAT!

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

But there’s more. So I fly back to the “A”, I’m on the phone with the ex. I congratulate her. So we’re chopping it up on the phone about our son and other stuff and I hear someone on her end crying. You know like complaining about something. Hubby in the background drunk, speech slurred feeling some type of a way, mad as phuck because our conversation had went on for more than 2 hours. It gets better. The brute inserted himself into our conversation and got on the phone. You can’t make this sh!t up. He must have felt I needed to be advised, checked and updated. A neanderthal when angry. Alcohol reveals the real you. Its a truth serum. A tell all sign, signal and symbol glaring in your face. As they sip away the beans spill onto the floor. Denial also enters the room with his friend anger. Money is his leverage. It’s the platform one stands on as they beat thier chest.

Interesting right? Her laughing giving the impression that she’s enjoying herself didn’t help either. (Sidebar) Dude, I know her, you’re trying to learn her. I’m not sure what she has told you about me but things aren’t always what it seems to be. Let that part marinate.

It just sounds like sympathy sex is upon the horizon thanks to and courtesy of (drum roll please) yours truly. $he has to keep the peace, now. Plus, I know he’s paying for everything. I took a look at him on Facebook and all I’m prepared to say is, “Oh boy. That was a retirement move.” I wonder how much is she charging him for her submission? High maintenance require luxury lifestyle.

Talking about him needing a pacifier while the carrot hangs; dangling in the air on a string. It’s the horses problem now. However, mommy has to first burp baby then pat and rub him on his back. After she finishes talking to me. Drink up buddy. I overstand your pain. Again, thank me later, homie. He has no idea and I will never interfere. Unless she tries to have me fly her out to the “A”.

G-Money: $igns, $ignals & $ymbols

Once upon a time, there was a man who was married for 11 years and separated for 6 years. Yep! G-Money was still coming to see me when we was separated. In fact, even when she was with her boyfriend she still came around to check for me. Even after he had gotten deported. Brutha couldn’t have been all that bad of a person for a woman to circle back like that.

Today, it’s just me and my different color satin sheets. 90 degree weather with the sun on my head and the sand covering my feet. Enjoying life as it unfolds. Writing short stories I never told. With “shocking” thoughts of a curled tongue running across her impressively beautiful “Pink Eye” which taste like a 9 volt battery when licked. Just tap it with your tongue. Such of an experience will never escape me.

Sometimes I feel like Pokie from New Jack City, only because of the aftereffects from how “It be calling meh.”

Harlem,

Heaven is at the foot of Mother…

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